The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
