Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I met the friendliest cop last night
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
