i just wanna soil my oats bro
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
