its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
