I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
