If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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