so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Did I show you my penis last night?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
