I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize