I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it glows. i had to have it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Randomize
