Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
