I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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