when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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