Cold hands, warm shart.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
