NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
