I'm jealous of your bromance
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
