the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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