i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
