Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
