she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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