dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
