dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have aggressive nipples.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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