there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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