So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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