Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
