No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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