I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
