yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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