is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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