My friends, they love my intelligence
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
