All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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