I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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