my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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