Duck Duck Cougar?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
