He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
