She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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