i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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