I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
