Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize