At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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