He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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