No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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