I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
