So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
