I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
