there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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