Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
