i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
