Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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