Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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