You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
