Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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