dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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