And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize