you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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