Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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