i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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