And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
