last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hippo gnu deer
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
