I CAN MOONWALK!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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