id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
