Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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