Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
