Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
