yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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