Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize