Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
