Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize