My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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