I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
