I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
