why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
