So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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