That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
