I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
