you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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