So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
